What to do when you don’t want to do anything?

Have you ever been in a phase where you just “don’t wanna”? You don’t wanna get out of bed early. You don’t wanna make breakfast. You don’t wanna go to work. You don’t wanna write that paper. You don’t wanna take up that book to study. You don’t wanna go to the gym or have that workout session. You don’t wanna parent/adult today. You just don’t wanna! It’s ok if you feel that way sometimes but if this is all the time then “Houston, we have a problem”. Please seek professional preferably medical/psychological evaluation and help.

This “don’t wanna” feeling can be concerning to you because a lot of those things you “have to” do in order to be happy or at the very least content. You have to get out of bed and get ready for work because you need to work to get paid. Someone has to pay for the warmth and that bed you don’t wanna get out of. You have to study or complete that paper because you need to finish school to get qualified to be able to take on the profession you’ve dreamt of and worked so hard towards. You have to work out to keep up with your fitness goals to achieve the physique you told yourself would make you feel happy.

Catch twenty-two, right? Well, what are you gonna do? I’m not you but I have definitely had my “off days” where I just “don’t wanna”. Let me give you some tips that helped me overcome those feelings and be productive.

1. Get a pen and paper (or electronic device you can’t write/type on). Write down 5 activities or tasks you “don’t wanna” but “have to” do. Then add one activity that you don’t “have to” but want to do! Be very specific eg. read chapter x for 20mins, do YouTube Pilates for 10mins, edit that CV for 10mins, choose my outfit for today in 8mins, make that phone call I’ve been avoiding and go to the cafe and try the new drink. There you go! The game plan! Now you have a list of the bare minimum you need to get done for the day.

2. Pump yourself up. Jump out of bed! Get off the couch! Just get up quickly before your mind can convince you otherwise. If you can’t find it within you to do that. Turn to someone else for encouragement. YouTube videos, podcasts, an encouraging book, devotional, a friend . Whatever motivates you, consume 3-5mins of that. I wouldn’t go beyond 10mins of this as it may back fire and turn into a binge watching/reading session(I have indeed watched people working out on YouTube while eating chips). Get up!

3. Do the damn things. Just do them. There is absolutely nothing holding you back from doing what you “have to” except you. Blame your emotions, your body, others, the universe, whoever you want. It’s on you. All up to you. The only way to get things done is to do them. There is no way around it. I won’t sugar-coat it. The product won’t order itself. The book won’t write itself. The squats won’t squat themselves. The meals won’t prep themselves. Only you can do that so go do it!

4. Psychoanalyze! If you find that you have just been refusing to do what you “have to” for a very long time, it’s time to really find out why. Write down that thing you “have to” do and then write down why you haven’t done it. What are the roadblocks. Is it your mindset? Is it lack of knowledge? Is it lack of resources/money? Is it fear? Is it that deep down you don’t believe that the action you need to take is worth it to you or aligns with your purpose? Look at your answers. Those right there are just simpler problems awaiting simple solutions. Problem solve, find the simple solutions. Break it down into tiny pieces like we did with creating the game plan. Get stuff done. Do something everyday to move the needle forward.

5. Change your mindset. I know we’ve been talking about what you “have to” do. However that phrase in and of itself can induce negative feelings. Switch it up! Instead of “have to” try “get to” “blessed to” “lucky to” “able to”. Sounds silly and simple but trust me on this one. It is a tried and true method of productivity. Say. “I get to work at this company and learn from their mistakes and successes so that I can be a better manager when I get that position”. If you want to kick it up a notch. Instead of thinking that you “have to” do these things, proclaim that you have already done them! You did it! You showed up at the gym today! You wrote a paragraph today! You did some practice questions! You replied to the email! You made dinner at home instead of succumbing to the aromas of that fast food place on the way home! Yes, honey you did that!

6. Get help! Yes I thought of that in the voice of Thor from Thor Ragnarok, in the scene where he and Loki tricked the guards of Sakaar as they were about to steal their ship to escape. However, this tip is no joke and no trick. Get help if you need it. Get help with motivation. As I said earlier, find it in a friend, in a book, in a video. If you are sad and believe you may be suffering from clinical depression or other mental health issues, seek help from professional health care and wellness providers. If you need help getting money and resources, seek out trustworthy sources. If a task is too overwhelming for you, ask for help. It may have been that this whole time the burden of the task was just to much to bear so you chose to avoid it. This can lead to haunting feelings everyday which translates into “I just don’t wanna”. Get help my friend. Get help!

7. Finally, lucky number 7! Congratulate yourself for previous wins! Doesn’t matter how small they are! Remind yourself you are a badass! Say yes! Remember that time last month when I did not want to reply to that email but I did and it resulted in me making an awesome professional link!? Remember when I did a 10mins Pilates session every day for a week even though I totally did not wanna do that but then started feeling and seeing results with my core!? Ooooh-ooooh, remember when I got off the couch, put something semi nice on and went to the cafe down the street and ended up reading 3 chapters of the book I had been putting off for weeks?! Go off honey! You did that!

Don’t be fooled by social media or what other people say! It’s not always sunshines and rainbows in life. Some days are just “don’t wanna” days! However, you can do a 180 on those days and do the things you want!

Love always,

Shammy

Oh Dreadful Sunday: Overcoming New Week Anxiety

1. The 5 MINUTE DECLUTTER. Cluttered space is the playground of anxiety. Decluttering, cleaning and organizing are some of my favorite tasks, but a Sunday evening is not the time I want to do that. At least that is what I used to tell myself. However, I now view a new week as a clean slate. A fresh start. It’s an opportunity to have a better, more productive, happier week than the last. It stands to reason then, that my surroundings should herald such a week. No I don’t go all Marie Kondo spring cleaning on a Sunday evening. Instead, I take on a 5 minute declutter challenge. I set a timer for 5 minutes and I try to clean, rearrange, organize or even discard unwanted things as fast as I can. It could be anywhere in my immediate environs: workspace, my bedroom, bathroom, the kitchen. I’m always amazed at how much I get done in 5 minutes and I often go beyond the time to achieve a better outcome. The dopamine rush I get when I accomplish such a physical goal definitely eases the negative Sunday jitters.
2. Devise a plan of attack. A common activity carried out by all successful people is that of planning out their lives. They set clear goals of what they wish to achieve. They break them down into bite-size pieces, even down to the very hours in a day. I set aside time each Sunday afternoon to set goals for my week ahead. Though I may not be able to plan activities down to the hour, I try my best to outline what I wish to achieve for the week. Seeing them broken down calms my anxious thoughts and encourages me. It makes having a good week seem possible, and guess what? It is! Most successful people appear calm, unbothered and generally pleasant any day of the week. I have an inkling it has to do with the fact that they have devised plans of attack each week and are confident that they will work, so why worry?
3. Choosing outfits for the week. This was never something I did on purpose, most definitely not on a Sunday. I would reserve such a task for the morning of each day. It never used to be a big deal to me. Sometimes it took me a couple minutes to throw some pieces together and other times it would take half an hour and a try on session to decide on the perfect outfit of the day #ootd. However, dedicating time on a Sunday afternoon, to choosing my outfits for the week, including my stay at home wear or even my pajamas has changed my life. Not only does it take my mind off the anxious thoughts on that Sunday but it buys me time in the week. It gives me a few more minutes to eat breakfast or leave earlier to overcome traffic or chill for a few moments before having to leave for work. It also excites me because I love developing my personal style and being able to put together outfits that showcase my personality even at the places I dread.
4. Consuming motivation. Whether or not we want to admit it, we are influenced by what we consume. If we consume much of one thing, it will influence us much. We see this when we listen to sad songs when we are sad and we feel even sadder. Instead of listening to others complain about the dreadful week ahead or the same old problems to meet us, I now choose to consume motivation. I listen to podcasts, watch YouTube videos, music, read articles, or books that motivate me to be better. These range from content on health, lifestyle, wealth management, inter-personal relationships, school, politics. If it’s motivational, I’ll have it on a Sunday afternoon for brunch. Of course, the Sunday jitters stand no chance against Lebron James telling me I can be great.
5. The Sunday Wind Down. If I could only do one thing from this list of tasks that I believe would have improved my Sundays, it would be this! The Sunday Wind Down is essentially my Sunday night time routine. It’s a series of activities I carry out leading up to and including bedtime on a Sunday night. I decide on a time, say for instance 10pm; then I begin. First up, I make my bed (yes, sounds weird) so that it will be comfy and welcoming. I take a shower or a bath using soaps, gels or washes with calming fragrances and aromas like eucalyptus, lavender, chamomile, jasmine, sage,etc. I put on actual pajamas or sleepwear (not just old clothes I no longer wear out). Next up for me is meditation on the floor with my back resting against a wall. The best monetary investment I made in 2021, hands down, is paying for and using a meditation app. After meditation I remain seated there and I journal. I just write down my thoughts as if I was talking to a most trusted friend. I don’t make it a thing; I just write. When I’m finished, I say my night night prayers, turn off the lights and jump in my nice cosy or cool bed. I close my eyes and go to sleep. Sometimes I fall asleep immediately but most times I don’t. For these times, I put my ear phones on or turn on my speakers and play a sleep story from my meditation app, or sleep music from YouTube or sleep sounds from any sleep app. Then I’m off. Never fails. I wake up on Monday well rested and ready to tackle the week.

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Not There Yet

Let me see a show of hands of all those who feel ashamed for not achieving certain life goals at a particular time. Are you among those who feel ashamed when you don’t seem as smart as the person next to you? How about when you have not lived up to the expectations of people around you? Do you feel that you are not good enough to become the person you dreamt you would be by now?

I am here to tell you that this is a perfectly normal thought process! It’s ok not to be ok with your station in life. It’s ok if you have not yet climbed Everest, bought your mansion at age 25, had 8 kids at 35, owned a luxury vehicle or became CEO of a multinational company. So long as you have breath, at least some functioning of your brain with some movements in your muscles and joints, you can impact the world. The world needs us, all of us, to play a role. We are each here for a special purpose, even if it seems minuscule. How do I know this, you may ask? How do I know that YOU are special?

I was raised to believe in a higher power who placed us all here each with a special purpose. I believed it should be our life’s mission to find and carry out that purpose. Therefore, for most of my life I worked hard towards my “special purpose”. I was convinced that my purpose was to bring healing and joy to the lives of others through medicine. I envisioned myself a physician, nicely dressed, well groomed, speaking eloquently to patients using medical jargon which at the time (as a child) I did not even understand. I’m proud to say that I have achieved physician status; I have had moments where I stood as that picture I envisioned. However, I had to go through an arduous course of roughly a decade to get to that picture of “my special purpose”. There are some who see me and persons like me in different professions and echelons of society and think “Wow! They are so smart and successful. They’ve made it! I may never be like them. I serve little to no purpose so I may as well just stay in my corner and live out my days.”

Let me share the secret of many of us “successful people”. Sometimes we feel like that too. We feel like we are not there yet. Sometimes we feel like we have failed. I’ve achieved a lot of successes but sometimes I am a disgruntled customer of life. Life just isn’t how I envisioned it would be at this age. Grey’s Anatomy is a good show but a damn lie! It made me expect dreamy, steamy, fantastical days filled with praises from patients, colleagues and relatives. I thought I’d be living in a mansion on a hill sipping tea while overlooking the skyline. *snickers* That’s not what’s happening here or now. Mark you, I am much better off than many people in this world, owing to my supportive family and friends, my upbringing, my education and the opportunities they all afforded me. But I sometimes get disheartened because I feel I am not there yet.

I remember being in school and being quizzed by senior physicians in front of patients and my colleagues. There were times the answers, though somewhere in my brain, refused to come out of my mouth in coherent speech. I used to be ashamed and devastated, especially when it’s something ” I should have known”. Those moments would break me. I would spend hours ruminating over the situation. I would replay the scenario in my head and think of all that I should have said or done. The evil in my mind would tell me to just give up because I would never be good enough to “get there”. This was a problem and as a problem solver I had to find a solution. That solution was to remind myself of my “special purpose” and let that be my source of encouragement and comfort when I felt less than. It would gently motivate me to study with the intention of learning all I could to be a safe physician to bring about healing and joy to my patients, rather than saving face in front of my seniors and peers. Cut away to now- three degrees in hand, a license to practice and several years of post graduate experience and I still do not know everything in medicine. I still get asked questions “I should know” the answers to but I can’t always recall and speak fluently on ALL the pathologies. I’m not there yet. However, I no longer wish the earth would swallow me whole when my gaps in knowledge are revealed. It’s now a gentle prodding to refresh my memory and elevate my knowledge status, so that I will eventually “get there”. I am a competent and safe medical practitioner. However, I also want to be well read and knowledgeable in my field, but I don’t feel like I am there yet. I say to myself what I said to you before: that is perfectly fine. All I need to do is continue working towards it. The same goes for you.

If you are “not there yet”. Keep going. You are good enough and you deserve good things. Find your purpose in life and fulfill it. We will all be better for it. The world will be better for it. There is enough good in the universe for us to partake in. It does not matter how old you are, where you are in the world, what you have been through, what you have done. You still can find your path to your “life’s goals and purpose”. I have noticed that once people discover their your purpose and live to fulfill it, most of the other things they desire in life usually just fall in line. They become by products of the fulfillment of that purpose.

Remember, YOU are special. Your existence is important, your life is important. You may not be where you want to be in your life right now but you will one day get to the point of greatness. There is nothing ordinary about you. So if you feel like you are not there yet, keep going, keep believing and don’t lose enthusiasm. Keep getting excited about possibilities no matter how old you are, where you live, what you do or do not do for a living or what people may say or think about you. Go do the things you’ve dreamt of because you deserve to be your truest self. It’s ok if you’re not there yet; you will get there.

Love always,

Shammy (drluddyinlife)

Stop Wasting Time!

Are you a time waster? An idler? Procrastinator? Are there things you KNOW you should be doing right now that you are not?

I am just going to be honest with you. You are not where you want to be in your life because you chose not to be there. It’s a hard and hurtful pill to swallow. It is very easy to make excuses for why we are not who or what we want to be. We can blame it on our upbringing, our surroundings, our financial situations, our bosses, our family; you name it, we can blame it. However, that person you envy or whose lifestyle you want to live, made choices to be that person. For most people, they arrived at success because they made daily decisions to become that person. It is no different for you. You are not special in this regard. You not only have to put out into the universe what you desire, but you have to work towards making your dreams a reality. Dreams will forever remain dreams until you wake up and LIVE. Living means being active, choosing to do one thing or another. The very cells that make up our bodies are active even when we sleep.

Being who you want to be and living the life you want to live requires you to DO. Stop wasting time just dreaming and thinking of it all. Do what you know you have to, to get what you want. Get up! Read that chapter! Write that paragraph! Watch that video! Make that call! Send that email! Drink that glass of water! Walk that mile! Open that investment account! Buy that property! Send that job application! Apply for that course! Make that move! Ask that question! Go to that doctor’s appointment! Fix that broken pipe! Take that meditation class! Whatever it is, do it!

Do something! Do something today that will make your dreams a reality. Just thinking about it will not make a difference in your life. Choose better for yourself today, even in this very minute. Think of what you know you must do. Go do one thing; just one! I promise it will change your life. Don’t say you will start tomorrow. Start now and continue tomorrow. A little a day keeps the stress and depression away.

“There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down – until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event that must occur in our lives before we begin living.”- George Sheehan

If it looks like a mammoth stands before you, don’t dwell on the negativity. Even a mammoth can be tamed. Break things down into small, manageable tasks and work on them everyday. Choose wisely everyday. Choose you. Choose the life you want to live. Choose the person you want to be. It’s ok if you slip up here and there. Once you are alive, you have an opportunity to make more choices. Stop wasting time looking on other people’s lives and wishing you were in their shoes. It may not all happen at once, but if you choose you each and everyday, the universe and that higher power you believe in will reward you tremendously.

Stop this self sabotage. Believe in yourself and your abilities. It is full time we stop fearing success. I confess that I was once (and sometimes still) afraid of being successful. I feared that if I went full speed towards achieving my goals that I would actually achieve them, and somehow that scared me. To be honest, I don’t know why. My goals are big! The life I want to live is the HIGH life (not that type of high, lol). But I know to get there, I have to step into the deep end. I have to do it scared and anxious. Let me tell you, each time I do something I have been putting off because I was scared or too lazy to do, I surprise myself. The feeling of self actualization and achievement is a good feeling. The feeling of overcoming procrastination is amazing. I am a vision board, to-do list, notice board, calendar scheduling type of person. Nothing brings me more joy than crossing things off, ripping up paper or clicking ‘end task’. Nothing is more thrilling than looking on my vision board and seeing that I became the person I envisioned myself to be.

It’s your turn. Do what you have to. Step out of that comfort zone right now. Step into the big scary world of better. Stop looking back at that comfort zone. It’s not going anywhere and if you stay there, neither will you. Stop wasting time. Live your life. Love on yourself. Be your own #goals.

In a Forbes article contributed by Eric Jackson in 2012, among the 25 regrets in life of the persons interviewed were the regrets of not living the life they desired, not applying for jobs they wanted, not pursuing higher education, not choosing to be happier and not being confident in themselves and their abilities. Don’t let this be you. Don’t get to the end of your life and have a list of regrets. Rather, have a list of achievements. Start now. Stop waiting. Stop wasting time. If you were looking for a wake up call, this is it! Go do that thing you need to do. Go right now! Be that person you dream of being.

Love always,

Shammy (drluddyinlife)

How to stick to New Year’s Resolutions: The 10- Step Approach

Every. Single. Year. I’m going to get fit! I’m going to eat healthy! I’m going to save money! I’m going to travel the world! 2010 here I come! 2015 here I come! 2020 here I come! 2021….ugghhh… should I even bother? Is it worth it?

Yes, it is! Say it with me: new year’s resolutions matter! Your goals and dreams still matter. The desires of your heart still matter.

Reportedly, as much as 80% of individuals who set out to resolve or achieve certain goals in a new year will give up on them before the end of February. Yes, I said give up because for the most part this is usually by choice. If you are reading this, it is likely that you have succumbed to this in the past and you don’t want that to happen again. I’m happy you are here because I am about to drop some usually overlooked, simple steps to successfully achieving your goals this and every year.

Here they are!

Step 1: Chill out!

Aspirations, dreams and goals are all GOOD things. They bring a feeling of happiness and joyous excitement. These are things you want because you believe they will make you, your life and the people around you better. Approach their undertaking with the same feelings. Too often when we set out to do the tasks necessary to achieve our goals we approach them with dread, anxiety, an expectation of failure or even just nonchalance. Listen to me! Chill out! Wipe the slate clean; start afresh! Think of all the good you desire and bask in the awesomeness of the vision of that life you seek. It does not matter if it is no longer January or the beginning of a semester or the start of a new month, week or even day. Goals are goals. They can be achieved at any time. Stop trying to make a simple thing complicated. Like Ariana Grande sang: ” I want it! I got it”. Go get it! That’s the winning approach.

Step 2: Set it in stone

They are called visions for a reason. The whole concept of vision boards, to-do lists, check boxes, life journals, all arise from the power of visualization. You are more likely to go for gold if you have an image of what gold is. The mere act of writing down or documenting your goals carry with it its own inherent power of driving success. The act brings about encouragement and exuberance which energizes you. Don’t just say you want to do something. Set it in stone! That way, you have a constant reminder of what gold is. In doing this, if you forget or feel discouraged about going for that gold, you will be encouraged once again to start afresh no matter what time, season or circumstance it is.

Step 3: Do introspective and retrospective analyses

Introspection: I think one of the main causes of failure to achieve new year’s resolutions (or goals in general) is not being true to ourselves. We look to others for generic or readymade goals. We depend on others to dictate to us what our lives should or should not be. This underlying disingenuity will almost always lead to failure. Ask yourself? Why do I want to do this thing or that? Is it because I believe it will make my life better or is it to make others think my life is better? Do I really want to wake up in the darkness of early mornings to drag myself to a gym so that some stranger can shout commands at me while my muscles suffer under the strain of heavy metal? Or do I just want to develop a healthier habit of exercise while having someone hold me accountable for it? Do I want to go on a diet to follow the social media masses or do I really want to eat to better nourish my body and improve my overall physical well being? This type of deep internal questioning and honesty will bring about the real desires of your heart. Where desire goes, interest flows. Your goals will come forth and so too will more realistic and attainable tasks come to the forefront of your minds. Those are the things you put on your vision board and check lists.

Retrospection: You may have had a particular goal for years and attempted to achieve it (even several times) but you’ve failed!!! What do you do? Think about all the times you failed at your attempts. Now think about all the things you did or did not do but regret. Then do those! Simple! You want to save more money but kept spending it on frivolous or unnecessary things you regret, then stop doing that. Duh! If it is a situation in which you lacked resources or the know how or the help. Research! Find out how others have done it, ask for help or create your personal solution. Where there is a will, there is a way. Stop trying to make a simple thing complicated. If a thing seems complicated, simplify it.

Step 4: Make SMART goals

Roll your eyes all you want at that cliche, but if you are reading this, chances are you need this point more than those who have already been successful.

Specific: You want to lose weight? You have to get specific. How much? How many pounds/kilos/stones do you want gone? If you say you want to lose weight but at the end of the year you lose 1lb you would have achieved that goal, but did it make an improvement in your life? Unlikely not. So be specific!

Measurable: This ties in with the above. Have a standard of measurement -10lbs weightloss, 3 days per week of exercise/gym/morning walks, 4 hours of writing per day, 50 practice questions per day. Have a measure, a mark to show when you have attained the goal.

Attainable: You know yourself better than anyone else. You know your mental and physical prowess, your socioeconomic, family and friendship situations. You know your limitations. Do not over sell yourself or under sell yourself. Set goals that pull you out of your comfort zone but not so extreme that you will give up at the slightest inconvenience. Be realistic!

Relevant: When setting goals ask yourself: is it important enough to me and does it align with my principles or other goals I wish to achieve at this time? If the answer is yes, then you are bound for success. If no, re-think or go back to step 3 and see how you can make it work. Then either work towards it or ditch it!

Time bound: You need to have a time limit for a check in and measure your success. If you lack a time bound goal you will be prone to procrastination -the very thief of success. Set a time to work towards. You did it for school with assignments you didn’t even like! Why not do it for goals that you actually want to achieve?

Be SMART with your goals!

Step 5: Surround yourself with encouraging or like minded people.

Your goals are yours, but be careful of people discouraging you. We are always going to look to others whose opinions we value to show us validation. We like their approval. However, sometimes you do not need approval from others on how to live your life. Negative energy is a real thing which leads to disheartenment and turns you away from success. Being with people who are all encouraging or who are on a similar journey with you makes the journey easier and more worthwhile. If necessary, look outside of your immediate environment for these cheerleaders: encouraging authors, speakers, scriptures, youtubers. Seek encouragement wherever accessible. However, if you cannot find this encouragement outside of your mind for whatever reason, be the validation you seek. Be your own source of encouragement.

Step 6: Just do it!

Don’t overthink it! You have your SMART goals. Just go! Start! Stop trying to make a simple thing complicated. Start where you are with what you have. Too many of us plan, pre-plan and play out in our minds what we will do but never really start. You have to start. That is what is going to propel your vision into becoming a reality. Simple. No more excuses. Just do it!

Step 7: Keep going

Be consistent. This is what separates the winners from the losers. Winners keep going! They keep at it! They pivot if necessary, ALWAYS keeping the goal in mind. Losers on the other hand complain about little inconveniences and use them as excuses for not achieving. Inconveniences, roadblocks and limitations tend to be temporary. There is a solution to almost every problem and you can find/create it. Sometimes all it takes is a change in mindset to win. However, regret is something that gnaws at your thoughts for as long as a lifetime. Trust me, I know you don’t want that. Do what you have to: cry through it, push through it, be annoyed through it, just keep going for gold. You reading this post now is a testament of me pushing through. I started writing this before the new year began. I had steps 1-6 on lock! But then I started to think about whether it was worth it. What’s the point of me publishing a blog about achieving goals when almost everyone has already made a video or post about it? But I did an introspective analysis and looked at my SMART goals, reminding myself of the end in mind. Then I was encouraged to keep going. I did. Here you are, reading this; being encouraged. That is my goal achieved!

Step 8: Be gentle with yourself.

Life almost never goes the way we plan it. You may not achieve some goals in the way or time you set out. However, do not become disgruntled and depressed. Don’t beat yourself up and waste hours and days on failures or something that did not turn out the way you wanted. Just re-calibrate your mindset. Take time if necessary to refresh, relax and re-boot. But remember to come back, and come back stronger and wiser. Learn from mistakes. Ask for help and go again.

Step 9: Reward yourself

If it is one thing many of us fail to do on our journeys, it is this. We achieve our goals, especially the small ones and we forget to congratulate ourselves. We do not acknowledge them because we usually create other goals or move on to the next big thing. Then we find ourselves just constantly trying to get more and more and get frustrated when we have not attained the highest. I say to you today, acknowledge the victories. A consistent 2lb weightloss, a completed chapter of the book or assignment, a consistent week of studies, acing practice tests, saving that first $1000, all warrant a pat on the back at least. Reward yourself for achieving your goals!

Step 10: Share your journey

This is the final step. At the end of it all when you achieved those goals, ticked everything off that to do list and vision board, please remember to share your success with others. You do not have to make grand social media posts, or announce with a bullhorn the things you have achieved. However, if you consistently lost and kept off weight and see someone else struggling to do so, if they will allow you, help them. If you have aced your exams and moved further on your path towards your successful career, help someone else by sharing techniques and strategies. If you have invested wisely and are reaping the benefits then share your expertise with others, freely(preferably) or for a charge. Whatever you do, share your journey because we all want to be successful in this life to bring happiness to ourselves and to others.

Please use these 10 steps to set and achieve your goals this and every year. It is my pleasure sharing this with you. I wish you the greatest of success and a lifetime of achievements.

Love always,

Shammy (drluddyinlife)

Create the Life You Love

Excuses! Excuses! They are so easy to make. We find every reason to justify why we cannot do something meaningful or why we cannot achieve our goals or realize the desires of our hearts. We like to allow life to just “happen” to us, and complain day in and day out about how life isn’t going well for us.

The truth is…..(whispers secretly)….we can change that! Yes, we can! We can create the life we love. We HAVE to do things on purpose. Trust me, I know it is easy to sit down and complain about how life is unfair, how work is hard, how people are difficult. There just isn’t enough money, too many stressors, the future looks so bleak! If you really want to find problems and stressors in this world, you will find them. However, for almost every problem there is a solution, for every stressor, there is a relaxant…..sometimes it is as simple as a change in mindset. The mind is an immensely powerful tool . Use it to create. Create the life you love, the life you want to live.

I have always been goal oriented. I must have something to do! I must do it well and efficiently! I must do tasks that will be of benefit to others! I must add value to society! Sometimes I am tired! I am exhausted! The weeks preceding me writing this, I felt broken and done! My body was over it! “Girl, no more! We cannot go on,” it said to me. My friends and family vehemently suggested I take a break, go on vacation. Corona messed up my plans. I had visions for 2020 – spring break in “Hotlanta”, early autumn European tour, cosy Christmas nights in New York City. Corona virus!!! I held out long, hoping the ‘rona would go away. It is still here and I was still tired.

I yielded. “Fine! I’ll have a stay-cation, but it must be good.” What was my goal? “I just want to relax”, I remember saying to myself. I want to be near the sea, to hear the crashing of the waves against the rocks. I want to lie in a bed that was not mine, in a room that did not have notice boards and to-do lists in full view. I wanted to get up, get breakfast, lunch and dinner and not hurt my brain over the decision of what to eat. I wanted to roam around freely without hearing the hustle and bustle of city sounds. I just wanted peace and relaxation. Turns out I wanted a stay at an all inclusive 5-star hotel in the Tropics. “I should do that”, I said.

Of course my brain immediately went into overdrive and anxiety set in. “Girl, the price! The distance! You can’t go alone! What will others think? Bla bla bla bla”….”Shut up!!!” My other inner voice chimed in: “We’re doing it! This is what I want. So we will find a way to get it done!” Problems….solutions.

The price: I stalked hotel websites daily, I looked for discounts, coupons, promotions…….GOT “EM!

The distance: found one that was within reasonable distance on a safe and uncomplicated path from home……CHECK!

“You can’t go alone”: asked a friend to accompany me…without hesitation she said yes……. GIRLS TRIP!

“What will others think?”: signed up a leave form, asked for the time off, told everyone close to me and I got nothing but affirmative responses….YAASSS GIRL! HAVE FUN!

Finally the day came. We went. It was all that I wanted. All that I needed. It was good. I thought I was a social media junkie, but surprisingly I barely scrolled through the social pages when I was there. Instead, I engaged in uplifting and sometimes hilarious conversations with my bestie. I finished a book. I took pictures and videos and even became a paparazzi myself…..not just for the ‘gram but because memories mean so much to me now. This meant so much to me and I did not realize it until I returned home to the city with rush hour traffic, wild driving taxis, to a house with shelves of medical books, duty schedules, a busted washing machine pipe…..”STOP!!! These are problems! They have solutions. Use your mind and create. Create the life you love. Everyday won’t be a vacation by the seaside…..you can find peace…..change your mindset….create in each moment.”

The life you love may not be a resort retreat. It may be painting an accent wall in your drab and boring room, or having a weekly chill session at your local café or chatting with your favorite corner store cashier. It may be leaving a job that brings you nothing but misery and starting your own business. The life you love may be 10 minute snuggles with your loved ones, or helping your children with a task. It may be finally packing those clothes that you have not worn in ages and donating them anonymously to the less fortunate. The life you love may be undertaking that research, writing that paper or that article, starting that social page about cute puppies or bright flowers. The life you love may be you sitting in silence, with a cup of tea, a glass of wine, a refreshing drink, and just chilling for 30 minutes.

Whatever that life looks like to you, make it happen! Tell your mind it can be done and your mind will tell your body and the universe will see……”and when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” -Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Love always,

Shammy

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Life is a Journey

Life is a journey. It is not a sprint and it is also not a marathon. It is an experience, and an ever changing one at that. We all will have different paths to take based on where we want to go. Some of us may go on a path of smooth sailing, cruising along the freeway, wind blowing through our hair, jamming to our favorite tune. Others of us may be on a treacherous and bumpy road, edging on precipices, the wheels of our vehicles gripping the dirt and rolling along to get us to our destination. Wherever the destination, whatever the path, just remember that there is enough good in the universe for us to share. Keep trotting or cruising along!!!